am i fat

hey, it's fluffy! i got a phone call from my agent he'slike gabe, check it out... chp, california highway patrol, wants tohire you to do a show oh really? what does it pay?

am i fat, they want youto donate your time i think i'm busy... they told me to let you know you have awarrant in the city of fresno, california

i'm like ooooh, they're good so i did the show, and i'm going to tellyou guys right now... i'm gonna tell you guys right now it was one of thescariest shows i ever did... a room full of nothing but cops everybody's drinking... a lot and i'm scared because if they get ghetto... who do i call?

you know? i gotta go out in a parkinglot and find some gang member aye, back me up so the show went good it went so goodthat they asked me to do another show in california, in san diego for thecalifornia highway patrol border division and i try to make up an excusethat my car wasn't working right they said no worries, we understand...

they sent a patrol car to my house with a freaking uniformed officer and i was like, oh my god best part was, i didn't tell my family he was coming oh yeah sometimes you have to createyour own entertainment it was hysterical five o'clock rolledaround i'm like, he should be here any minute

sure enough frankie! frankie, can you get the doorplease? ok gabriel so he goes to the door comes back and he's got like... you know he's like... gabriel... the police are here why are you whispering?

cause something's gonna happen when he said that i'm like aww,i gotta frickin let him have it now i said, oh my god frankie, they foundme what do you mean gabriel? i gotta go frankie, i gotta go take care of your mom for me ok? i love you i love you noooooo!!!

i got a go frankie and isaw the officer i said pretend you're arresting me i want to freak out my kid no problem turn around and put yourhands behind your back i can't reach just hold my hand walk me to the car... just walk me to the car

just walk me to the car he doesn't know the difference dude just walk me to the freakin car, come on i get to the cop car he throws me in theback seat, right? and slams the door and i ask him is it okay if i yellout the window to freak out my kid? you want to use the microphone?

yeah! here you go sir and he hands me the microphone and i said frankie, this is the police... we have your father we're coming back for you in one hour do your homework one minute later, my girlfriend calls me

am i fat

you're an ass!

what's he doing? he's doing his homework that's called parenting baby...

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