as the year draws to a close, i just wantto take a little look back over a lot of the sex toys i tried this year. things i loved. things i hated. mostly things i loved, honestly -- as shittyas this year was in a lot of regards, it was
itchy clitorus, a pretty good year for sex toys (at leastfor me)! so let's dive into many of the wonders anddisappointments that 2016 brought into my life. let's start with the worst toy i tried thisyear. that honor absolutely has to go to the jimmyjaneform 5.
i hated this thing. if you watch all my reviews, you know thatthat was easily the most scathing one i've ever had to do. pretty much everything about this toy upsetsme. the vibrations are incredibly buzzy, numbingmy vulva and making my hands itch from holding it. it makes a really obnoxious high-pitched sound. the shape doesn't make any goddamn sense. and perhaps worst of all, it retails for $145. i have $15 vibrators that are better thanthis.
i do know a couple people who like the form5, but i'm sorry, i will never understand you. i also know a lot of other people who hateit, so at least i'm not alone in that regard. this toy is shit, and jimmyjane should feelbad. now onto the weirdest sex toy i tried: thetokidoki x lovehoney unicorn wand. just look at this thing. it is hilarious and amazing and one of myfavorite things in my life. because unicorns. why does this exist? i dunno, but i knew i needed to have it themoment i saw it, and lovehoney was generous
enough to hook me up. is it a great wand? meh. it's no hitachi. it's no doxy. but does the hitachi have a mane made outof rainbows? does the doxy have an actually-kind-of-uncomfortablepink horn protruding from its head? i don't think so. let me know if you do want to see a reviewof this toy on my channel or blog because
i've been debating whether i actually wantto do one. it's okay. i am totally getting a display stand for itthough. for me, the stand-out sex toy company in 2016was easily we-vibe. they came out with three new toys this year,and every single one of them was really well done. the nova didn't fit my personal anatomy verywell, as is the curse of rabbit vibrators, but i loved its innovative shape and its abilityto be thrusted while still maintaining clitoral contact, and the vibrations were also prettyexcellent. it didn't work well for me, but i recommendit to other people all the time.
the sync was a much-needed upgrade to we-vibe'sflagship wearable "couples" vibrator, and its power level and adjustable hinges meanthat it's the first toy of that style that i really feel like i can recommend. again, it's not something i personally useall the time, but it's a great option for people who want that kind of thing, and i'mso happy it exists. now, the we-vibe rave is a toy that i useall the time. as far as powerful and rumbly insertable vibratorsgo, this one cannot be beat. the vibrations are so deep and so strong,and it kind of blows my mind every time i use it.
i love the asymmetrical shape and the waythat it can be twisted for unique g-spot stimulation and placed in different ways on the clit forbroader or more pinpoint clitoral stimulation. i don't love that it's not fully waterproof,but for vibrations like that, i can get past it. this is a fantastic sex toy from a fantasticbrand. i love we-vibe so much. the most disappointing company, on the otherhand, has to be lelo. i have a whole blacklist on my blog of brandsthat i don't support, whether it's because they have ethical problems, customer serviceissues, or just bad products, and lelo has managed to tick all three of those boxes.
and i actually find that personally upsettingbecause lelo was one of the first companies i really got excited about when i first startedgetting into sex toys -- they were luxurious, body-safe, and claimed to be feminist. i've had mixed feelings about the companyfor a few years now, between their declining product and packaging quality, increased prices,inconsistent customer service, and recent focus on gimmicks over functionality whenit comes to their products. but 2016 really hammered home that lelo isnot a company i can support in good conscience. this year they decided to break into the worldof contraception and sti protection with a new condom called the lelo hex.
and who did they decide to bring on as thespokesperson for their hex condoms campaign? why, none other than notorious violentdomestic abuser charlie sheen. of course, they've completely blown off allcriticism from feminists and abuse survivors, just like they're now blowingoff questions from sex educators about whether the hex condoms are actually safe as condoms. i can't. i'm done. if you're in the market for a luxury sex toy,there are other companies out there with better, cheaper products and ethics that don't suck.
air pulsation/suction toys were huge thisyear. i got to try out both of the main ones -- thewomanizer (mine is the w500 model) and the cheaper copycat satisfyer pro 2. i really liked the womanizer for its unique,nuanced sensations, despite its gross name and gaudy appearance. i kind of wanted to like the satisfyer andmaybe be able to recommend it as a cheaper (and waterproof) alternative, but it lackedany of the subtlety that made the womanizer so effective for me and was so intense thati could barely even use it. overall, the womanizer still reigns supremefor me, but if you're looking to get one now
i would actually recommend the new $99 pro40 model over the absurdly expensive version that i have. the new cheaper one is actually waterproof,sleeker looking, and apparently performs about as well. if my w500 ever bites the dust, i'll probablyreplace it with a pro 40. the lovehoney desire wand. i don't have a lot to say about this toy. it's just a really solid mid-sized, mid-range,rechargeable wand vibrator. it impressed me a lot more than i was anticipating,and i reach for it often. good stuff.
dildos! i didn't actually try that many new dildosthis year -- i think i tried like four, all of them from tantus. but when i got my hands on the tantus boundit quickly became on of my top-tier favorites. i still think that very nearly everyone willfind this toy way, way, way too abrasive, but for me and my texture-obsessed vag, it'sabsolutely wonderful. finally, the two best sex toys of 2016. there are two sex toys that stood out tome as not just the best i tried this year, but two of the best toys to ever comeinto my life.
unfortunately because i got both of them towardsthe end of the year, i haven't had time to get reviews up for them yet. but they are so great, and i should have reviewsready for both of them within the next few weeks, so keep an eye on my channel and blog. the first of these two beauties is the funfactory stronic eins. i don't really have the words to describehow brilliant this toy is, which is maybe why it's taking me so long to do a full review. fun factory's stronic toys are some of thecoolest things i've ever seen -- instead of being a traditional vibrator, these are pulsatorsthat have an internal weight that moves back
and forth. everyone compares them to a shake weight,and what it means is that the toy is basically self-thrusting. all it needs is a finger or two to keep itin the body (or you can brace it against a pillow) and it just chugs along, hitting myg-spot with a champion's consistency and basically no effort on my part. now, it's crazy expensive, almost $200, soi could never recommend it to the average person. but if you're a sex toy fiend and you'relooking for something different, that does something that no other toy on the market can do,this is so good.
the second toy, and my new all-time favoritevibrator, is the l'amourose prism v. remember what i said earlier about there being luxurytoys that are better and cheaper than lelo? the prism is, to me, a perfect sex toy. it is so beautiful. the shape of the head is perfect for hittingmy g-spot, perfect for giving my clit the not-too-pinpoint, not-too-broad stimulationit craves. it's nice and rumbly, with a huge range ofvibration intensities from gentle to powerful. not quite as powerful as the we-vibe rave,but more powerful than my lelo mona 2 or any other insertable vibrator i own.
it's completely waterproof. perfect, perfect, perfect sex toy. for me, at least. and price-wise, it's $99, making it cheaperthan the rave or any lelo insertable. now, $99 is still a lot of money. this is not an inexpensive sex toy by anymeans, but as far as luxury vibrators go, this is the toy that i feel i can most confidentlyrecommend above all others. it has the versatility, shape, type and rangeof vibrations, and price that i think could satisfy the widest variety of people.
i cannot overstate how fucking good this vibratoris. it's my favorite. my sex toy goals for next year are, firstoff, to review more budget-friendly toys. toys under $100. toys under $50. i'm lucky because of the work i do to be senta lot of really expensive luxury sex toys, but let's be honest, i could never actuallyafford most of those if i had to pay for them. and i'm sure a lot of you are in that sameboat. a toy doesn't have to cost a lot of moneyto be good, and there are definitely some
quality options out there at a lower pricepoint, so i want to explore that more in 2017. i also want to try out different materialsthat have never touched my genitals before, things like stainless steel, wood, glazedceramic, polished stone. i want to try more glass toys as well. my collection right now is almost entirelysilicone and abs plastic, so i think it's time to branch out. what were the best or worst sex toys you triedin 2016?
or what were your favorite things i reviewed? also let me know in the comments if there'sanything specific you'd like to see me review
in the new year. thanks for watching, and i'll see you nexttime!