how to have sexual intercourse

hey whatâ,christina€™s going on? it’strip from trip i’m going to be walking up here in just a second to my frChristinaand stephanie, also known as t&a from the “t&a talk sex”podcast. we’re going to be hanging out and you’regoing to be learning some really cool sex

how to have sexual intercourse, tips. they have figured out three of their verybest sex tips that every guy should know. we’ll be talking about that and checkingout their place so come with me. back against the board, you know what i’msaying?

sitting up. me in the middle, two on the sides and theni can even advertise the fact that i’m on your channel as well also in bed. you know what i mean? yeah, something like that. do you play the piano? i'm learning. failure is ok. it's ok to fail. nice.

the important take away is if you don’tpractice you won’t be as good at it. you gotta practice piano, you gotta practicewith women, everything takes practice. we're going to use a tomato. did you shoot a hole in this? to represent what? we just want the mouth. i don’t know what you’re describing butthey reminded me of my own fruit thing. i thought where you going was that the topof the mouth was over the clitoris and you’re eating something like a mango.

yes, like a mango pit. i think, like the music that you two just played, sex can be it’s own rhythm and pacing and time. you can go faster. faster is amazing. when it’s sort of with a rhythm or a purpose. i think maybe you start slow and then you speedup and go slower and speed up. it’s like a dance. okay, we’re in bed now to talk about someawesome sex tips with the t&a ladies. who’s t?

i’m t, hi. who’s a? i’m a. there you go. let’s talk about some sex tips. the three best sex tips, we’re figuringout what the best ones were. i wanted to let them figure out what theythink are the best sex tips and so we’re going to present them to you right now. what do we go? who wants to start?

the first one, and this is a huge pet peeve. the first one for me is slow the fuck down. slow the fuck down. it’s not just necessarily the intercourseslow down. we mean the whole dance, the whole foreplay, everything. I think guys don’t understand really how sensual we are and how much foreplay we need to be turned on. guys are like okay foreplay, foreplay, canwe fuck now? no, slow down slow down.
ok, foreplay foreplay can we fuck now? it’s like slow down! wait until she’s literally begging you forit. i think a great game to the slow down to makethe slow down work is get her to be like when are you going inside? how good is that? why aren’t you inside of me right now? that’s what you want. you want to be clawing at you and pullingyou.

you want her that aroused. another thing too is a lot of women don’tknow their bodies that well or there’s a little bit of pressure for them to reach arousalso they’ll say they’re there when they’re not really there. the more you give to them then they don’thave to question. am i doing this right? i don’t know. and girls happen to be more in their head,s o you’ve got to warm it up and that takes going a little bit slow.

if you’re going fast, they’re like what’sgoing on, what’s happening right now? you’ve got to ease your way into it. more slow like it brings you out of your headand into the body. yeah, it’s way better. it’s more sensual. what helps is you study it. like i’m studying the curve of his ear. alright, so let’s go to number two. what is your best sex tip for the guys?

i’ve had a couple memorable experienceswith using a man using his voice when he’s giving oral. not you, us. when you’re giving oral. mind blowing there’s a built in vibrator,w he aren’t you using it? there’s a built in vibrator and you’regoing how can i compete with this vibrator. imagine if you will, it’s basically if youhave your upper lips you can put it on the clit and then open your mouth as wide as youcan and try to engulf her and then if you can occasionally get some tongue action onher opening of her vagina.

it’s basically like mmm, mmm. the whole tomato is vibrating and that isgoing to feel fucking good. the humming of your mouth, there’s alsothe humming of your chest. when you hum you can feel it. i had a tantric massage where a man pressedhis chest on my pelvic area and then hummed and everything vibrated. and it was amazing. in fact, doing this full mouth thing causetechnically you have all the stimulation in your lips as a woman.

when you’re doing that full coverage hum. mmm. i like that, that’s good. third tip is don’t just nipple and clittarget. you know when you’re playing darts and youwant to hit the center and that’s the goal only. that’s now how this works. you want to start on the outside and workyou way in. i know you guys like to see the nipples gethard because it makes you feel like you’ve

done something in the world. you’ve had an impact on us. that’s great, but selfish to be honest. what it is there’s a whole breast. a whole breast. the same with the clit. i think guys aren’t really aware that thereare other sensitive parts of the body. i think that’s the problem. that’s why guys are just going for the nippleor the clit.

they think oh that’s where the girl likesit. they don’t know all the other areas. sex in america is like you have to cover upyour nipple and you have to hide your vagina area. as a man you’re like oh those are the sexparts. but it’s actually like our whole body isthe sex parts. and all this goes for the clit as well. it’s the same illness in the head of likejust going for the clit. okay, yes when i’m fully aroused becauseyou’ve touched that whole area is on then

I will orgasm when my clitoris rubbed. Let alone use hajar jahanam cair Which can make love much longer. But that does not mean just go for a clit. It's all over that area, my outer lips, my dinner's thighs. The more you tease, the whole area is, and the bringing clit soft, it's amazing. Many men feel to be really hard on the clitoris so we will also be very gentle. It's organic. You can find us on iTunes stitcher where you listen to your podcast. We're talking sex.

on social media weâ€,™re ta talk sex but ourpodcast is called t&a talk sex. i’m going to make it easy. i’m going to put their instagram, theiritunes and their youtube channel in the description

below. everyone wins. alright let’s get off the bed now. that was fun.

bump on anus

welcome back guys to another episode, we are out here in the middle of fucking nowhere - in israel we're back in israel against my will hila says

bump on anus, - not true. - we need to go visit my family. i'm like, hila you know how i feel about that place. i only go there for the shawarma.

hila - ethan loves it. (music) just because we're out here visiting the fam, doesn't mean we ain't got time to meme. *knuckle bump x2* and we're gonna be talking about it. and today, we got some juice on deck. this one's gonna surprise you. i feel like this one actually is gonna surprise you.

so this one is called "butt baby syringe" and i don't know about you guys, but when i'm thinking of something cute and cuddly and friendly, nothing invokes those warm, cuddly feelings like a syringe. hila- yeah, a "butt baby syringe" *sarcastic happy sound* i feel great just saying it. *deciding what to say*

i wanna get in bed with some syringes. *hila giggles* ya know, just wrap myself up, that's a really nice day. so the channel in question is "childrensjoy..." hila- *pained laugh* and you can tell this guy's all about the joy. hila- all about the joy. *laughing*

when you hear about "butt baby syringes" you're like, "that's some joy. that's some baby joy." "butt baby joy syringe." and just glancing over it, you notice, it's a... it seems to be like an older middle aged man. all you can see is his hands. but he's obsessed with poop, little baby dolls pooping,

baby poop potty training, baby doll eating poop! he eats poop! this guy kind of invented like this whole new... ...category of video called the baby butt syringe. so here's the first one i want to share with you guys. *dramatic music from video plays* i mean, it's already disturbing enough.

this tiny little baby? hila- yeah. you've got like a normal sized baby doll for scalenext to it, and then like a tiny, bite-sized little baby in a bowl of m&ms because it makes you just wanna say "i wanna eat this fucking baby... ...that's not a euphemism. i actually want to eat babies." hila- and somehow he found the creepiest one like...the look on it's face...

just fucking dead. hila- ...disturbing. it looks pickled. it looks like a pickled baby. a baby- you could pickle a baby and eat it. you can do it with pig's feet-hila- this guy can. yeah this guy is- hila- this guy probably already did. dude he's got jars, he's got like dill, he's got sweet, he puts them on his fucking sandwiches.

*dramatic music from video* alright, well an innocent enough start to a video i mean, it's a little strange but nothing to really fuckin'...hammer the guy over. but wait. here he is unwrapping- this is the part that disturbs me the most. he uses a real syringe. hila- yeah *laughs*

watch him unwrapping it piece by piece. this is a real medical-grade syringe that he probably uses. hila- that's a good point, where's the toy syringe? ethan- yeah! whay the fuck do you need a real syringe? like he probably uses it afterward to inject the blood of babies to prolong his lifespan. hila- oh god... like, what the fuck, dawg?

*cheery royalty-free music from video* hila- i like this music, like- *music continues while ethan and hila dance* *music continues* it's like, dawg is this for the kids? are you really trying to show the babies watching that you're using real syringes? hila- and somehow it has - it's creepy.

hila- two hundred thousand views, like i know that's not a million but two hundred thousand... ...who's watching this? also like a pretty good like ratio. like... hila- *laughing* who is watching this? ethan- people are like, yeah, i'll smash that like. hila- i don't think kids would want to watch it, like, kids don't like syringes...

ethan- syringes.- do they? there's nothing more horrifying in the world than a syringe! but wait, see how he uses it. *music from video continues* i'm sorry, but that's just fucking inappropriate. there's something... *hila laughing* and, i mean, his like... his creepy man hands.

okay well let's clean up baby's bottom let's see where this is going. hila- i feel like if kids put this on by accident, they'll start crying when they see this. yeah, that's a -- i would say that about a lot of this "kid-friendly" content on youtube. it just confuses me. hila- but this one especially, like, spiderman and elsa, maybe they -- ethan- it's fun...

hila- like the costumes... ethan- there's music... ethan- there's magic... hila- who is watching this? *music from video* *suspenseful music* *cheery music* that baby's loving it, you can tell by it- by the, uh

by the wonderful sound effects he's chosen to put in not laughter, you know, not tickley sounds, fucking cries of despair. hila- but the cheery music, like, what is this? *music and sound effects from video* hila- like why is this baby so creepy? why does he have nipples? the baby has like little nipples. where do you get these creepy little babies with nipples on them?

why would you bother to put in the details of a nipple on a baby? *music from video again* he's got like fat nips! he's got like fat nips!- he does! he's got like fat ass nips on that baby! he's got like fat ass nips on that baby!- oh my god! what the fuck?! don't tell me that's not weirdly sexual. like there's no --

he doesn't have -- there's no other defining features but he's got some fat ass nips. babies are missing in this town where this guy lives. if you guys have heard of some missing babies, please call local authorities. hila- you gotta open- ethan- spread 'em open. hila- you gotta open the legs. ethan- spread them wide open you gotta go -- hila- you gotta get a good look there.

ethan- baby's gotta get wide open for this guy fucks kids. this guy fucks kids.- it's fucked up! ethan- this guy fucks kids. okay but that's the first one. this guy, the other video puts this one to shame. this is like, snacktime. next video, is dinnertime.

*slurp* *soft plastic sound* *velcro opening* *clunk* time to get undressed, little baby. it's childrensjoytv time. there's no music. you always have this cheery music. this time, it's almost like a direct threat. (help me.)

it's like he knows someone's watching and he's threatening them right now. just listen how unsettlingly silent it is. *velcro snaps* this is like the creepiest asmr shit ever. - yeah. - ever. hila- like the way, like, *velcro sound* *long satisfying velcro sound*

you can like hear every thud of the baby's foot *thud* *thud* *caressing plastic* no, this is normal. don't you remember the ethan bradburry pose from the spiderman? ethan- this is hot. kids love ass in the air. ethan- this is hot. kids love ass in the air.hila- maybe it's baby yoga.

ethan- ready to get fucked.hila- maybe it's baby yoga. yeah, no, kids love that ass in the air. please come in, insert now, daddy. what it's called, and the kids love that. *loud mechanical printer sounds* *cutting into firm paper* oh, know he's he's going with this. hila- where? i don't know.

i have no fucking clue. this is getting creepy. *paper cutting sounds* what do you think is gonna happen? hila- i can't say. ethan- guess. hila- no. ethan- you sick fuck. hila- i'm not going to say it.

you think he's gonna, like, put that on the baby's ass, then like throw fucking syringes at his asshole? hila- i didn't say that. ethan- that's sick! hila, you're fucking disgusting for thinking that! you --you're -- dude, i'm putting this whole relationship into question right now. *tape sounds* *plastic crinkles*

*boing* *baby giggling* *echo* hila- what are we watching?! hila- why are you doing this to me? hila- and to all of us, why are we all watching this right now? *ethan's stares and flashbacks boingâ„¢* what the fuck are you trying to convey? what do you want kids to take from this?

is there not a better and more wholesome way to entertain children on youtube? why are we throwing loaded syringes at a baby's asshole? with a bullseye?! what is this?! *velcro* *caress* *crinkling velcro* *slowed down baby laugh* *crinkling velcro*

*baby screaming* *the piercing screams of a young child* hila- what do you think about the sound effects? ethan- oh yeah, the babies love that. it's a lot of fun. definitely when you have you own child, just throw loaded syringes at it's ass, the baby will love it. hila- i mean, yeah, childrensjoy knows what he's doing. ethan- it's called childrensjoytv for a reason. the guy knows how to give pleasure to children. childrensjoytv: baby gets anal raped by a syringe and gets injected with aids virus.

hila- when we see something like this, are we supposed to call the police? ethan- i feel like i'm definitely on the fbi watchlist now. ethan- i don't know, what are you supposed to say? like "yo, uh... hi is this the police? yeah go to childrensjoytv and type "baby doll receiving injection needle syringe injection like in real life childrensjoytv" *baby coos* join us next time when we review "the confessions of real baby murderers"

which was an hbo series. hila- which was a youtube kids series. hila- which was a youtube kids series.ethan- yeah. *baby sounds* i wanna have kids now. hila- just to see what they choose to watch? *bing* ethan- nope, i'm gonna do that- *bing* i saw this on youtube why are you crying?!

why are you crying baby? stop crying i don't understand... hila- i just wanna have kids to see what they watch on youtube. ethan- it's just --hila- i'm just curious.ethan- it's just a huge social experiment. i don't give a fuck about the baby. well guys, thank you for watching. um. sweet dreams.

*baby laughs*

bump on anus

*velcro crinkles* *loud piercing screams* *loud crash* *h3h3 outro music*

big vulva

welcome to health care at home today i will tell you how you can tight your vagina. first of all the main reason for loosen vagina is motherhood there is rapid expansion of vaginal or uterine wall during labour pain. due to this it becomes loose

big vulva, so how to tight it. although its also observe that too much of sex also makes vagina loose. since few women has habits of masturbation with this also their vagina become loose. but how you can tight it back . for this i am telling you a very easy and quick remedy. take almost 8-10 betel leaves , easily available in the market.

manually crush them & boil them into 1/2 litre of water. post boiling strain it and once its luke warm then either put cotton ball or tampon dip in it. let it dip nicely and then insert either cotton ball or tampon into your vagina. after this lay down for 15 mins on your back support & then remove it. do this remedy for 7 days & you will observe that your vagina is completely tight again. one more very quick , easy remedy is mint leaves which is available at your home. take mint leaves and boil them into 1-2 litre of water. now pour this water into a big tub or bucker where you can sit inside along with some normal water. once the water is luke warm then you have to sit in this tub

sit for 15 mins , make sure your vagina is dip in this water with in 15 mins you will start feeling changes one more thing you can do is, now a days steamers are easily available in the market. put some mint leaves in steamer & create its steam. and from some distance you can take that steam, since vaginal skin is highly delicate so maintain the distance, to avoid burn from steamer at any cost . take this steam for 10-15 & within this time you will start feeling changes . along with one more easy remedy is aloe vera now a days we all have aloe vera at home, take out its leave & take out fresh gel

twice a time apply this gel on your vagina. if you will do this remedy for 3 months then not only vagina will be tight but your problem of vaginal itching will be solved too. and along with problem of vaginal dryness will be solved in 3 months. one more easy remedy is gooseberry. take out its juice if in season. mix 1/2 of cup of gooseberry juice in 2 mugs of water and then wash your vaginal area with this water since gooseberry is full of vitamin c which gives strength to the muscles of pelvic floor. since gooseberry is a seasonal fruit, if its not in seasonal then take dry gooseberry and boil it in water.

prepare the water & wash out your intimate/private part at the time of bath. do this daily and within few weeks you will start getting changes. so, these were few remedies. there are some exercise , with their instant practice you can have instant tight vagina. and can have strength too but that i will share in next episode. rest our wish is only that you stay healthy, busy, carefree and be with us.

big vulva

and to meet us you have to subscribe this channel. tell to your friends & relatives to subscribe this channel. get the health benefits by sitting at home & support us in our motive. our motive is that maximum number of people should get health benefits at home.

so, don't forget to share our videos as much as you can. thank you…


and yeah you a sorority girl just in case you accidently wander into a voting booth one day there's some things you should know. one of them is, there is absolutely no evidence to support the

bactroban, statement that were the greatest country in the world. we're seventh in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 40th in life expectancy. 178 an infant mortality, third

median household income, number for labor force, and number four in exports. we lead the world in only three categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined 25 home her allies no no this is the fault of a 20 year old college student you

nonetheless are without a member of the worst period generation period ever periods when you ask what makes us the greatest country in the world i don't know what though you're talking about many people really do feel like america is not great anymore and there's a lot of evidence to support that claim it's true that in many ways the u.s. is

in a state of disrepair we own 19 trillion dollars our infrastructure truly is outdated and embarrassingly in apt compared to other first world countries our manufacturing industry is barely limping along our education system is failing our kids and putting many of them in debt our healthcare system is laughable to anyone who

doesn't live here and our images quickly tarnishing but what are we to do about it globalism is killing us because the us was not set up to thrive in a global economy the establishment has done what it can to try to push us forward but we're falling behind fast in spite of their greatest efforts we need a

revolution enter barack obama hillary clinton and bernie sanders stage left with promises of hope and change they had us for a while many still want to believe in them even though they too are part of the establishment that's just it these people are politicians politicking they may throw in some new words into the rhetoric but for many americans

something feels deeply unsettling about trusting politicians to get us out of this mess not because they got us into it but because they are it our politicians exist within an outdated framework that itself isn't working anymore they are part of the matrix how could they possibly help us get out

of it we need someone who is as unplugged as they come inter donald trump stage far-right some group of people thousands from his voice opinions loudly on pretty much everything for the last 40 years including politics he's often seen schmoozing with politicians and he has spoken directly to many political groups

over the years and taking out ads and backed political candidates with his money and influence and hillary clinton is a great woman a good woman he is not an outsider at all if anything he's as inside as they come that would be me his money has directly affected real laws and regulations for his own benefit at whatever expense

that's exactly the kind of insider we should hate the most he was not the best person to represent a disaffected lower-middle-class electric who is increasingly resentful of people like him and the politicians he hangs with so what did he do he did what donald trump does best

he branded himself hold on if you believe the persona of donald j trump accurately represents the actual donald trump you are falling for his biggest branding move yet it's time to wake up years ago donald trump went deep into his mental laboratory and using his understanding of the psychology of demand created

donald j trump the brash far-right no-holds-barred tell-it-like-it-is billionaire outsider he chose a party a message and image and even a slogan that all play to the frustrations of a resentful electorate and contrasted in as many ways as possible the ideals of the more and more resented establishment all that was left to do was use his

skill of staying in the news by saying calculated edgy things only rosie o'donnell and work to persuade the world he was for real and we bought it sure the first few months were full of doubts about his authenticity but none of us could ever imagine donald trump having the audacity of saying everything he said unless he

actually believes it we just can't wrap our minds around this level of commitment to a character but that's just it donald j trump is exactly that a character in the same vein as say stephen colbert remember with stephen colbert had himself as old character on to his new

show but he got in trouble because he doesn't own the rights to that character so we had to change the character's name that's a common issue with branding we hear about it sometimes usually in the film television or music industry's because a person is not the same thing as the brand that's a concept that's hard for the average person to

understand because to the average joe a name seems like it should mean something except to port joe actually even joe is a brand remember joe the plumber from a couple elections ago you can bet someone tried to trademark that donald j trump is a brand his brand is meant to appeal to the subconscious of a growing segment of the population

that most politicians have been ignoring donald trump is a brand master and he saw the opportunity to come in on a white horse and start beating down the establishment now you understand why he's been acting like a ridiculous cartoon character this whole time but you probably only have understand why people support him even

if you already like trump i bet somewhere in your mind right now there's the assumption that many of his supporters are racist vidiians let me explain the supporters in a way most people have failed to do i recently watched a film called do the right thing and there's a scene in the film wear this black guy walks into a pizzeria

with his radio playing and the italian pizza shop owner tells him to turn it off and the black guy refuses so the italian guy smashes it with a baseball bat and a big fight breaks out and the black guy eventually ends up getting suffocated by a cop and watching this this slow revelation that have been brewing up for ages finally suddenly hit

me see to this african-american his radio was part of his identity music was a huge part of who he was and to the italian guy having control of its pizzeria was part of his identity and having rap music blaring through the place was intruding on it but the real intrusion was a fact that this italian guy had built his pizzeria in

african-american neighborhood yet he wasn't willing to assimilate and take on the values of the people in that culture racism is complicated but it has a lot to do with proximity and assimilation and cultural values people moving around without thinking about the importance of the culture into which they are moving and without a

simulating well that causes resentment culture matters to people and when they feel that there's threatened you're going to see something that looks a lot like racism that's exactly what's happening in today's politics we've been told for the last 50 years that if we embrace each other and ignore our differences then everyone will be

happy and no one will ever have a bad day so we tried we put policies in place to make sure that the people the top don't always win and the people at the bottom don't always lose we've endured a constant endless cycle from the media pushing equality and progressive ideology we've had politicians do everything they can to

eliminate our borders and move us into a globalist one world order for ourselves and for future generations a new world order we've had marches and demonstrations and candlelight vigils and social media campaigns we elected a black president twice and we're pretty damn close to elect a woman for the first time in our

country's entire history if that's all you knew you would think social justice issues in america must be just about solved you would think everyone in the u.s. is happy empowered and feeling great about the future you would think that sexism racism and xenophobia would be almost completely eradicated all quiet on the

western front that's what you would think if you didn't know better but you do know better you know that in the u.s. today a black man is far more likely to be incarcerated than a white man six times more likely you know that women are less happy than they've been in over 40 years and you know that the fear of a

terrorist threat is as real as it was in 2001 right after 911 and on top of all of that our jobs are disappearing to places like china mexico and really anywhere but here this is why we are sick and tired of the establishment take a drive through the streets of detroit michigan we used to be something we used to feel

cool strong and powerful a country full of hope being american meant being full of strength and potential and vision and power the pursuit of happiness was something we all believed was good even noble and more importantly possible but now we're lost hopeless frustrated broke confused angry bitter sad disappointed tired mad and ready for change

we were never perfect but we did at one point have one thing that made us great we had tenacity and now we don't what happens there's no black america there's no white america various just now what when they can't lock her up there letting out the frustrations of a

populist mad as hell about political corruption going back decades when they chant build that wall there letting out the frustrations of a country raped by globalist policies that favor the top 1% and leave the rest of us jobless and poor when they chant drain that swamp they're letting out the frustrations of an electric have been ignored for

decades by political elites that could not care less about you and me and when they chant trump trump they're hoping he scares the crap out of those elites and if you're paying attention to the news at all he's doing exactly that you might be scared donald trump but you know what the people who have been in power for your

entire lifetime and are the hidden reason everyday people like us to almost everything we do whether it's working at one multinational conglomerate another or buying an iphone or choosing which grocery store to go to or which television show to watch the people getting more and more power every day while we live out our pathetic lives

under their control those people are shaking in their boots about the thought of donald trump and that's exactly why i liking i hope you consider what i'm saying very carefully you might disagree with most trump supporters but you can't believe that america is great the way it is personally i support from for the same

reason as peter tail i want the whole system to collapse so we can rebuild something better but whatever your reason whether you're a nihilist like me or you're hoping trump actually deliver on jobs and get us all back on the same page as americans at least now you can see why that's what this video is about so what do you think

in this video to someone you like to argue with and let me know in the comments if you see what i see thanks for watching sure used to be we stood up for what was right we fought for moral reasons we passed laws struck down laws for moral reasons we waged war on poverty not poor people was sacrificed we cared about our

neighbors we put our money where our mouths were and we never beat our chest we built great big things made ungodly technological advances explore the universe cure disease and we cultivated the world's greatest artists and the world's greatest economy we reached for the stars acted like men we aspired to

intelligence we didn't belittle it didn't make us feel inferior year we didn't identify ourselves by we voted for in the last election and we didn't scare so easy we were able to be all these things and do all these things because we were informed by great men men who were


revered first step in solving any

problem is recognizing there is one america is not the greatest country in the world anymore

am i fat

hey, it's fluffy! i got a phone call from my agent he'slike gabe, check it out... chp, california highway patrol, wants tohire you to do a show oh really? what does it pay?

am i fat, they want youto donate your time i think i'm busy... they told me to let you know you have awarrant in the city of fresno, california

i'm like ooooh, they're good so i did the show, and i'm going to tellyou guys right now... i'm gonna tell you guys right now it was one of thescariest shows i ever did... a room full of nothing but cops everybody's drinking... a lot and i'm scared because if they get ghetto... who do i call?

you know? i gotta go out in a parkinglot and find some gang member aye, back me up so the show went good it went so goodthat they asked me to do another show in california, in san diego for thecalifornia highway patrol border division and i try to make up an excusethat my car wasn't working right they said no worries, we understand...

they sent a patrol car to my house with a freaking uniformed officer and i was like, oh my god best part was, i didn't tell my family he was coming oh yeah sometimes you have to createyour own entertainment it was hysterical five o'clock rolledaround i'm like, he should be here any minute

sure enough frankie! frankie, can you get the doorplease? ok gabriel so he goes to the door comes back and he's got like... you know he's like... gabriel... the police are here why are you whispering?

cause something's gonna happen when he said that i'm like aww,i gotta frickin let him have it now i said, oh my god frankie, they foundme what do you mean gabriel? i gotta go frankie, i gotta go take care of your mom for me ok? i love you i love you noooooo!!!

i got a go frankie and isaw the officer i said pretend you're arresting me i want to freak out my kid no problem turn around and put yourhands behind your back i can't reach just hold my hand walk me to the car... just walk me to the car

just walk me to the car he doesn't know the difference dude just walk me to the freakin car, come on i get to the cop car he throws me in theback seat, right? and slams the door and i ask him is it okay if i yellout the window to freak out my kid? you want to use the microphone?

yeah! here you go sir and he hands me the microphone and i said frankie, this is the police... we have your father we're coming back for you in one hour do your homework one minute later, my girlfriend calls me

am i fat

you're an ass!

what's he doing? he's doing his homework that's called parenting baby...

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